Often called `the father of psychology’, William James taught us the `Act as if ‘ principle.

He stated, “If you want a quality, act as if you already have it”.

You’ve no doubt heard these three words before, maybe even took a crack at applying this strategy in your life.

But have you ever really taken the time to ask, “what exactly does it mean to “act as if?”

Just what it says!

Act as if you already possess a behavioral characteristic, an outcome, or an ideal. Inhabit the outcome in advance, see it, smell it, taste and affirm it as if the outcome is already reality.

Muhammad Ali provides us with the perfect example of this philosophy with this inspiring quote; “To be a great champion, you must believe you are the best. If you’re not, pretend you are.”

WHY IT WORKS

Every outcome, every result you want to manifest consists of a mental equivalent.

Huh? It’s actually very simple, before a goal or outcome is achieved, a mental process, a belief system was first initiated.

A “construct” in its simplest form is a concept or “model”. This in itself is not very interesting until we realize that just about everything ever made outside of nature began as an idea in someone’s head.

Some of these ideas or “Constructs” have had more impact than others over time. Of those that have had impact, some have been for the good of mankind and some have not.

The “Act As If” philosophy is a powerful mental construct which allows you to assume the correct mental position or posturing IN ADVANCE.

This is one of the 100 lessons you will learn once you begin the 100 Day Challenge.

making excuses…

putting it off…

bitching and moaning…

crying over spilt milk…

sabotaging your efforts…

worrying and wasting time…

thinking you’re not worthy…

waiting until the time is right…

Instead, do this…

suck it up…

hold on tight…

jump in the deep end…

say a prayer…

and…

GO FOR YOUR GOALS!

The 100 Day Challenge shows you how.

WHAT TO DO NOW? Share your impressions on this post and be sure to participate in the next 100 Day Challenge.

This letter from Abe Lincoln to his son’s Head Master serves as a powerful reminder of the value of both a Parent and a Teacher has in shaping the lives of our children.

Respected Teacher,

My son will have to learn, I know, that all men are not just, all men are not true. But teach him also that for every scoundrel there is a hero. That for every selfish politician, there is a dedicated leader.

Teach him that for every enemy there is a friend. It will take time, I know; but teach him, if you can, that a dollar earned is far more valuable than five found.

Teach him to learn to lose and also to enjoy winning.

Steer him away from envy, if you can.

Teach him the secret of quiet laughter.

Let him learn early that the bullies are the easiest to lick.

Teach him, if you can, the wonder of books. But also give him quiet time to ponder the eternal mystery of birds in the sky, bees in the sun, and the flowers on a green hillside.

In the school teach him it is far honorable to fail than to cheat.

Teach him to have faith in his own ideas even if everyone tells him they are wrong.

Teach him to be gentle with gentle people and tough with the tough.

Try to give my son the strength not to follow the crowd when everyone is getting on the band wagon.

Teach him to listen to all men. But teach him also to filter all he hears on a screen of truth and take only the good that comes through.

Teach him if you can, how to laugh when he is sad. Teach him there is no shame in tears. Teach him to scoff at cynics and to beware of too much sweetness.

Teach him to sell his brawn and brain to the highest bidders but never to put a price-tag on his heart and soul.

Teach him to close his ears to a howling mob and to stand and fight if he thinks he’s right.

Treat him gently, but do not cuddle him because only the test of fire makes fine steel.

Let him have the courage to be impatient, let him have the patience to be brave. Teach him always to have sublime faith in himself because then he will have sublime faith in mankind.

This is a big order, but see what you can do. He is such a fine fellow, my son!

Abraham Lincoln

WHAT TO DO NOW? Share your thoughts and impressions on what this post means to you.

But what about the other long run effects?

In the long run, we all learn that…

• happiness is a gift we give ourselves.
• being nice and kindhearted wins out.
• going the extra mile pays off.
• simplicity is the key to good life.
• time is more important than money.
• the best things in life are free.
• attitude truly is everything.
• behavior never lies.
• excuses are character deficiencies.
• living within our means is smart living.
• gratitude enhances your quality of life.
• humility is more powerful that arrogance.
• reputation is built over many acts and lost by one.
• trust once lost is virtually impossible to regain.
• excellence is the only acceptable standard.
• having character is far more important than being a character.
• a promise made must become a promise kept.
• integrity is profoundly important.
• everything we think, say and do counts!

WHAT TO DO NOW?
Share ONE lesson you learned and it’s long-term impact on your life.

The duties or responsibilities of a citizen in a Democratic Society can be separated into two groups: mandatory responsibilities, such as paying taxes;  and duties not demanded by law, such as voting.

The right to vote is a duty and responsibility, as well as a privilege.

Abraham Lincoln best described democracy as “government of the people, by the people, and for the people.” For that government to be “by the people,” however,
requires that the people decide who shall be their leaders.

The right to vote is one of our most important civil liberties and those who expect to reap the blessings of freedom must support the vehicle of freedom.

By fulfilling your obligation to express yourself with the ballot, you have preserved the democratic system.

Moreover, voting is a sustained obligation that accompanies and protects the liberties we enjoy.

Voting is a fundamental right. The ability to vote exists as one of the most cherished rights that our forefathers fought for, marched for, and died for over the centuries.

Wars still rage so that citizens of other countries can earn this right; the right that many of us now take for granted. The act of voting is a right that should be used with the utmost consideration and care.

Voting is more than just a right to be heard; it is a privilege of democracy, thus a moral obligation.

In Search of Democratic Literacy

“The ignorance of one voter in a democracy impairs the security of all.”
- John Fitzgerald Kennedy (1917–1963)

Democracy demands an informed electorate. An informed electorate is a prerequisite for democracy.

These two factors are so intertwined that the failures or inadequacies of one can render the entire system ineffective.

If voters do not know what is going on in politics, they cannot rationally participate in government policy. Without their participation, their needs and wants cannot
possibly be understood or realized.

This is particularly troubling in times of war or major conflict; in large issues such as healthcare, foreign policy, social security, education; and in so many other areas of social and political importance.

Inadequate voter knowledge has two major negative implications for democracy:

First, it prevents any meaningful reflection of the will of the people in democratic government.

Second, voter ignorance imperils the instrumental case for democracy as a nation that serves the interests of the majority, as ignorance potentially opens the door for both elite manipulation and gross policy errors caused by politicians’ need to appeal to an ignorant electorate in order to win office.

All rights carry with them responsibilities and obligations. Our rights deserve our utmost attention and vigilant protection. Achieving the right to vote has proven to be a hard fought accomplishment for all races and genders throughout history.

And now that each and every citizen in our country has the right to vote in any election, they must exercise this right. So, let your voice be heard — VOTE!

WHAT TO DO NOW? Download your copy of Why Every Vote Counts and share your views on the importance of this topic!

In 1985, Fleet Maull began serving a 14-year sentence for drug trafficking.

During his incarceration, he completed a Ph.D. in Psychology, authored a well-received book, became an ordained priest, founded a prison hospice program and launched the Prison Dharma Network, a non-profit organization that supports prisoner rehabilitation through contemplative spirituality.

Today Maull works as a peace activist and personal effectiveness coach, lecturing at leading universities, in corporate boardrooms, in high-risk areas like Rwanda and the Middle East, and in what he calls “the forgotten world” inside our jails and prisons.

Maull has plenty of wisdom and experience to share. But he sums up his core message in a single phrase: Radical Responsibility.

Maull believes we create everything that’s happening in our lives, good and bad.

It’s only when we accept complete responsibility that we take the giant step from childhood to adulthood. Self-responsibility is the key to personal effectiveness in every sphere of life.

Yet many choose to embrace the psychology of helplessness and victim hood, preferring to explain all their struggles in terms of the actions of others.

Like you, I meet many middle-aged men and women who are still grumbling and complaining about earlier unhappy experiences, who are still blaming their problems on other people or “the breaks.”

They’re angry with their parents, fuming at an old boss, still simmering over their ex-spouse. They’re trapped in the past and can’t get free.

Yet the great enemy of success and happiness is negative emotions. Fear, self-pity, envy, jealousy and anger hold us back, tie us down and suck the joy out of life.

Studies show that there are four root causes of these emotions. Once you identify them, you can begin to banish them:

• JUSTIFICATION. You can be negative only as long as you convince yourself that you are entitled to be angry. Unhappy individuals will always be found explaining and elaborating on the profound   unfairness of their situation.

• RATIONALIZATION. Rationalization is self-deception, an attempt to create a plausible explanation for a socially unacceptable act. (As in, “If I turn this in six weeks late, no one will care anyway.”)

• BLAMING. There is no quality more closely associated with unhappiness than the habit of blaming others for our difficulties.

• POOR SELF-ESTEEM. Low self-esteem is generally characterized by a hypersensitivity to the opinions of others. No one wants to lose the respect of others, but conscientious people don’t need to fret about what other people think.

THE THREE WORD SOLUTION

There’s a simple antidote to these factors that create negative emotions. You need only say three words: I am responsible.

Whether your problem is joblessness, addiction, overspending, obesity, or a damaged personal relationship, you move closer to a solution the moment you say, “I am responsible.”

It’s impossible to say these words and still feel angry. The very act of taking responsibility short-circuits and cancels out negative emotions.

Every time you blame someone else or make excuses, you give your power away. You feel weakened and diminished… Without the acceptance of complete personal responsibility, no progress is possible. On the other hand, once you accept total responsibility for your life, there are no limits to what you can be, do and have.

Yet many would rather train for the Boston Marathon in three feet of snow than say these words. Why?

Psychologists say human beings have a natural propensity to accumulate pride and shun regret. Whether we recognize it or not, we tend to take responsibility for the positive developments in our lives and attribute unfavorable developments to others or circumstances.

This is not to say there aren’t times when our lives are significantly influenced by outside forces. Maybe you’re a great worker who lost her job due to a corporate downsizing or the poor economy.

Maybe your parents really were poor role models. But victims don’t create change. It’s only when you choose to focus on what you can do and how you should act that you gain power.

Businesses and other organizations today are looking for people who are willing and able to think, who are self-directing and self-managing, who respond to problems proactively rather than merely waiting for someone else’s solutions.

A study done in New York a few years ago found that people who ranked in the top 3% in every field had a special attitude that set them apart from average performers in their industries. It was this: They chose to view themselves as self-employed throughout their careers, no matter who signed their paychecks.

These are people who set goals, make plans, establish measures and get results.

Radical responsibility changes everything. It means you own your thoughts, impulses, feelings and actions. You are accountable for the consequences they bring and the impact they have on others.

This is not a burden, incidentally. It’s a privilege and an honor to take ownership of your actions. It creates freedom and control. It gives meaning to life.

Self-reliance is the great source of personal power. We create ourselves, shape our identity and determine the course of our lives by what we are willing to take responsibility for.

Want to change your life and solve your problems, starting today?

Say three simple words: I AM RESPONSIBLE

WHAT TO DO NOW: Share your thoughts and personal experiences with the principle of Radical Responsibility.

Joy is a choice; it’s an emotion that can be found in any circumstance.

Joy is a natural state; it’s best demonstrated by children.

Joy is everywhere; it presents itself in abundance throughout each day.

Joy is contagious; it’s a gift we give to ourselves and spread to others.

Joy is inside of us; it’s a spirit we liberate and find spiritually liberating.

Those who live in joy, who share joy, and who spread joy, possess true wisdom.

An essential part of your journey is the pursuit of happiness for the simple reason that you are accountable for all you do, as well as for the permitted pleasures that you fail to enjoy during your lifetime.

You must count the day, week, and life lost if you have not been moved to laughter or if you have not played because joy is essential to the good life.

Contrary to popular opinion, it’s perfectly okay to have fun in everything you do. It’s not selfish, insensitive, or self-centered. Wanting life to be joyful is perfectly natural, normal and healthy.

Every aspect of life blends better with joy. Joy and laughter can lubricate the most tedious chore, and infuse even the most serious of situation with the lightness of love.

The very thought of joy should bring you back to core values. Although unconscious, one of the earliest lessons we learn is that the joy is in the journey. As children, we found joy in playing with our food, in learning how to walk, in the flipping of a light switch, and in taking a bubble bath.

What happened to our joy? Where did we lose it? Many of us eschew the simple pleasures known to children because we have tapes running in our heads, which say, Grow up. Quit acting like a child. Be serious.

Yet, when we regain the childlike joy of simple pleasures, the process of living more simply becomes much easier. We see that there is little need for complexity in living, and much joy in simplicity.

Joy, compassion, love and respect are not side issues. They are THE issues.

We are not to be a businesswoman who is joyful and compassionate.  We are to be a joyful and compassionate person who is a businesswoman.  When we put the business or career first it will always distort our joy.

A life filled with joyfulness is one well lived. Yet, too many of us forget to make the time simply to slow down, enjoy the journey and have a good laugh.

Joy is the fabric of happy memories, the icing on the cake of life. Joy adds years to your life and life to your years, but we make it count one day, one moment at a time.

WHAT TO DO NOW? Slow down, enjoy the journey and have a good laugh. Also, share your thoughts on living a joyful life below.

I’m in complete agreement.

The good news is that today is examination day.

Today is the day you take inventory of your life, your choices, and your results.

Ready?

• Do you have a clear sense of where you are going and how you will get there?
• Are you living the life you imagined, or just going through the motions?
• What are your proudest accomplishments since the beginning of the year?
• What important contributions have you made to your work, family and the community where you live?
• Are you starting fast and finish each day strong?
• Are you maintaining focus and following one course until successful?
• Are you using deadlines to maximize your performance?
• Are you using speed as a unique competitive advantage?
• Is your behavior worth modeling? Does it inspire excellence?
• Have you been using the word NO to set boundaries so that you can focus on the bigger YES?
• Are each of your choices taking you closer to your goals?
• How have you been practicing the fine art of gratitude?
• How have you demonstrated an indomitable spirit?
• What have you done to enhance and improve your reputation?
• Are you embracing inconvenience and increasing your appetite for pain and discomfort?

• Are you beginning each day with a written plan? If so, are you following it?
• Have you focused on simple strategies, simple solutions and simple methods for obtaining results?
• What have you done amazingly well to stand out from the crowd?
• In what ways have you been going the extra mile? For whom and how often?
• Are your commitments being honored and your promises being kept?
• Has boldness become part of your portfolio of skills?
• Are you consistently driven by a strong sense of urgency?
• In what ways have you exercised greater discipline and self-control?
• Does your work and daily actions demonstrate a commitment to excellence?
• Have you displayed passion and enthusiasm in your work and home life?



• Are you deliberately growing your network of contacts?
• Are you doing everything you can to make this the best year of your life?
• When was the last time you did anything for the first time?
• If you passed today, would you be proud of the legacy you are leaving behind?

What are you going to do as a result of answering these questions and examining your life?

It’s time to live large, it’s time to step it up, it’s time to rip the lid off your performance!

WHAT TO DO NOW? If this process was helpful to you, I’d love to hear about it. Leave your comments and share your personal observations!

Researchers at Harvard have been examining this question for 72 years by following 268 men who entered college in the late 1930s. Their discoveries might surprise you.

Just listen to Dr. George Vaillant. Since 1967, the Harvard Medical School professor has dedicated his career to the “Grant Study.” (It was named after its patron, the department-store magnate W.T. Grant.)

Vaillant’s specialty is the comprehensive study of a small number of people over a long period of time. His subjects were never a representative sample of society. They were all young men from relatively privileged backgrounds.

Yet Vaillant’s findings offer profound insights into the human condition. They have universal applications. And they illuminate the one factor that correlates most highly with a positive life assessment in old age.

So let’s take a closer look…

From the beginning, the Grant Study was meant to be exhaustive. The researchers assembled a team that included medical doctors, physiologists, psychologists, psychiatrists, social workers, and anthropologists.

Participants were monitored, interviewed, and studied from every conceivable angle. That included their eating and drinking habits, exercise, mental and physical health, career changes, and financial successes and setbacks.

They were subjected to general aptitude tests and personality inventories, and were required to provide regular documentation.

Many of the men achieved dramatic success. Some became captains of industry. One was a bestselling author. Four ran for the U.S. Senate. One served in a presidential cabinet. And one – JFK (we now know) – was president. (His files have been sealed until 2040.)

Some of the subjects were disappointments, too. Case number 47, for example, literally fell down drunk and died. (Not quite what the study had in mind.)

Most of the participants remain anonymous. (Although a few, like Ben Bradlee, the long-time editor of The Washington Post, have identified themselves.)

Over the last four decades, the lives of the Grant men were Vaillant’s personal and professional obsession. In his book Adaptation to Life, he writes, “Their lives were too human for science, too beautiful for numbers, too sad for diagnosis, and too immortal for bound journals.”

Yet more than 70 years of data and enabled Vaillant to reach some broad conclusions.

He found seven major factors that predict healthy aging, both physically and psychologically:

• education,
• stable marriage,
• healthy weight,
• exercise,
• not smoking,
• not abusing alcohol, and
• employing mature adaptations.

Vaillant believes social skills and coping methods are crucial in determining overall satisfaction. However, his most important finding was revealed in a 2008 interview. He was asked, “What have you learned from the Grant Study men?”

Vaillant’s response: “That the only thing that really matters in life are your relationships to other people.”

The Grant Study confirms what the wisest have always known. That a successful life is not about the grim determination to get or have more. Nor is it about low cholesterol levels or intellectual brilliance or career accomplishments.

It’s about human connections: parents, siblings, spouses, children, friends, neighbors, and mentors. Without them, life quickly loses its flavor, whatever material successes we enjoy.

Look back at your life. You’ll almost certainly find that the most significant moments were births, deaths, weddings, and celebrations.

Your most profound moments? When you touched others. Or they touched you.

In times of suffering – loss, sickness, death – it is not prescriptions, formulas, or advice we seek. It is the healing presence of another. When we forget this – when we think only of ourselves – we choke the source of our development.

Real meaning comes from taking care of those you love, letting them know how you feel. Fortunately, we have countless opportunities to give a bit of ourselves each day through a thoughtful act, a word of appreciation, or a sense of understanding.

As Dr. Vaillant concludes, true success “is more about us than me.”

WHAT TO DO NOW? Share your two cents worth on the findings of the Grant Study and what it means to your life.

Why? Balance is bogus, and too much focus on balance impedes forward progress.

Balance is a good thing for bicycles, tightrope walkers and ballerinas. Toddlers also need balance, as do the wheels on your car and those amazing young women who jump and spin on a four-inch wide balance beam in the Olympics.

The adage “all work and no play . . .” speaks to the need for variety. It’s often used in conversation where someone complains of needing to achieve balance in their activities but most of us would agree that “50% work and 50% play . . .” would be a poor formula for success.

In bike riding, ballet and circus acts, balance is not the objective but rather the means to a successful end.

You don’t balance a bicycle for the sake of balance, you do it to enable the bike to move forward.

Getting to Point B is the goal — balance is only part of the process.

Little children tumble over as they learn to walk because it’s necessary to upset their balance in order to take a step. If staying in balance were the objective, the toddler would simply stand up and stay standing. But they would never learn to walk.

The same is true of individuals and the teams, families and groups they populate. The most successful individuals, groups, and organizations are those where balance is not the focus but only part of the process.

In-N-Out Burger is widely popular because of, NOT DESPITE, their unbalanced menu – nothing but burgers and fries.

If every musician in an orchestra played their instrument at the same level of volume, the result would be – well, you’ve heard this if you’ve ever attended a junior high band concert.

Think about this: Instead of looking for balance, think about how each team or family member has a unique strength that can be applied to forward momentum.

Requiring the analytical people on your team to pretend they are visionary wastes their time and their talents just as much as asking the big picture people to plan out the details.

Let your dreamers dream and your analysts analyze.

Your team and family has a greater likelihood of achieving its goals if everyone on the team concentrates – not on maintaining a balance,  but rather – on playing their own part to the best of their ability. That’s making everything count!

WHAT TO DO NOW? Share your two cents worth on this post and how you feel about the subject of balance in general.

There is no room for “situational ethics” in business or in any area of your life for that matter. Something is either ethical or it isn’t. The situation does not matter.

If a person said, “Open the window but don’t open the window,” we would be at loss as to what to do; the command is contradictory and thus irrational.

In the same way, if our ethical principles and practices lack consistency, we, as rational people, will find ourselves at a loss as to what we ought to do and divided about how we ought to live.

Ethics requires consistency in the sense that our moral standards, actions, and values should not be contradictory. Examining our lives to uncover inconsistencies and then modifying our moral standards and behaviors so that they are consistent is an important part of moral development.

Where are we likely to uncover inconsistency or as what can be referred to as situational ethics?

First, our moral standards may be inconsistent with each other. We discover these inconsistencies by looking at situations in which our standards would require incompatible behaviors.

Suppose, for example, that you believe that it is wrong to disobey your employer, and also believe that it is wrong to harm innocent people.

Then suppose that one day your employer insists that you work on a project that might cause harm to innocent people. The situation reveals an inconsistency between my moral standards. You can either obey my employer or you can avoid harming innocent people, but you cannot do both.

To be consistent, you must modify one or both of these standards by examining the reasons you have for accepting them and weighing these reasons to see which standard is more important and worth retaining and which is less important and in need of modification.

A more important kind of inconsistency is that which can emerge when we apply our moral standards to different situations.

To be consistent, we must apply the same moral standards to one situation that we apply to another unless we can show that the two situations differ in relevant ways.

You might believe, for example, that you have a right to buy a home in any neighborhood you wish, because you hold that people should be free to live wherever they choose.

Yet, you are among the first to oppose the sale of the house next door to a group of mentally handicapped persons.

But what is the difference between the two situations that justifies this difference in treatment?

What is the difference that makes it all right for you to buy a home in any neighborhood, but not them?

There is another sense in which the need for consistency enters into ethics.

We might hold consistent moral standards and apply them in consistent ways, but we may fail to be consistent in who we are as individuals.

We often use the word “integrity” to refer to people who act in ways that are consistent with their beliefs.

Here consistency means that a person’s actions are in harmony with his or her inner values.

Polonius, a character in Shakespeare’s Hamlet, points out–perhaps with some exaggeration–how critical such integrity is to the moral life when he says to his son, Laertes:

This above all: to thine own self be true,
And it must follow, as the night the day,
Thou canst not then be false to any man.

Consistency in our lives also implies an inner integrity. It may be the case that a person’s inner desires are allowed to conflict with each other.

For example, a desire to be courageous or honest may be contradicted by a desire to avoid the inconvenience or pain that courage or honesty often requires. Allowing such a conflict is self-defeating because these desires are contradictory. To achieve consistency, we must work to shape our desires to produce a kind of internal harmony.

So central is consistency to ethics that some moralists have held that it is the whole of ethics. They have argued that if people consistently treat all human beings the same, they will always act ethically.

Ethical behavior, they argue, is simply a matter of being consistent by extending to all persons the same respect and consideration that we claim for ourselves.

Religion, and I mean all religion seems to imply that ethics consists of nothing more than consistency with the words:

For example –

• Christianity: Do unto others as you would have them do unto you.
• Confucianism: Do not do to others what you would not want them to do to you.
• Buddhism: Seek for others the happiness you desire for yourself. Hurt not others with that which pains you.
• Hinduism: All your duties are included in this: Do nothing to others that would pain you if it were done to you.
• Judaism: That which is hurtful to you, do not do to your fellow man.
• Islam: Let none of you treat his brother in a way he himself would not like to be treated. No one of you is a believer until he loves for his brother what he loves for himself.
• Taoism: View your neighbor’s gain as your gain, and your neighbor’s loss as your loss.

Each of these verses have been interpreted as meaning that all of morality can be summed up in the requirement to avoid contradictions between what one thinks is appropriate for others and what one thinks is appropriate for oneself.

But is consistency all there is to ethics? We may be perfectly consistent with respect to our moral principles and values, yet our principles may be incorrect and our values misplaced.

We may even be consistent in treating others as we treat ourselves, but this kind of consistency would hardly be the mark of a moral life if we happen to treat ourselves poorly.

We might say that while consistency is surely not sufficient for ethics, it is at least necessary for ethics.

Ethics requires that there be consistency among our moral standards and in how we apply these standards.

Ethics also requires a consistency between our ethical standards and our actions, as well as among our inner desires.

Finally, ethics requires that there be consistency between how we treat ourselves and how we treat others.

WHAT TO DO NOW? Share your thoughts on this post and how you can apply the idea to your life and career.

Everyone has a breaking point, turning point, stress point, life is permeated with it.

Our bodies are designed to feel stress and react to it. It keeps us alert and ready to avoid danger. It is not always possible to avoid or change events that may cause stress. We can feel trapped and unable to cope. When stress persists, the body begins to break down and illnesses can occur.

The key to coping with stress is identifying stressors in your life and learning ways to direct and reduce stress.

What is stress?

Stress is your reaction to any change that requires you to adjust or respond. It’s important to remember that you can learn to control stress, because stress comes from how you respond to stressful events.

What causes stress?

Stress can be caused by anything that requires you to adjust to a change in your environment. Your body reacts to these changes with physical, mental, and emotional responses. We all have our own ways of coping with change, so the causes of stress can be different for each person. Common causes include:

Serious Stress

• Death
• Illnesses
• Accidents
• Marriage
• Pregnancy
• Divorce
• Job change
• Deadlines
• Moving
• Money problems
• Confrontations
• Crowds
• Heavy traffic
• Legal problems
• Retirement

When you are not sure of the exact cause of your stress, it may be helpful for you to know the warning signs of stress. Once you can identify these signs, you can learn how your body responds to stress. Then you can take steps to reduce it.

What are the warning signs of stress?

Your body sends out physical, emotional, and behavioral warning signs of stress.

Emotional warning signs include:

• Anxiety
• Sleep disruption
• Anger
• Inability to concentrate
• Unproductive worry
• Sadness
• Frequent mood swings

Physical warning signs include:

• Stooped posture
• Sweaty palms
• Chronic fatigue
• Weight gain or loss
• Physical symptoms that your doctor cannot attribute to another condition

Behavioral warning signs include:

• Over-reacting
• Acting on impulse
• Using alcohol or drugs
• Withdrawing from relationships
• Changing jobs often
• Feeling agitated most of the time

What can I do to reduce stress?

Keep a positive attitude.

• Accept that there are events that you cannot control.
• Be assertive instead of aggressive. “Assert” your feelings, opinions, or beliefs instead of becoming angry, combative, or passive.
• Learn to relax.
• Exercise regularly. Your body can fight stress better when it is fit.
• Eat well-balanced meals.
• Rest and sleep. Your body needs time to recover from stressful events.
• Don’t rely on alcohol or drugs to reduce stress.

How can I learn to relax?

There are a number of exercises that you can do to relax. These exercises include breathing, muscle and mind relaxation, relaxation to music, and biofeedback. A few that you can try are listed below. First, be sure that you have:

• A quiet location that is free of distractions.
• A comfortable body position. Sit or recline on a chair or sofa.
• A good state of mind. Try to block out worries and distracting thoughts.

Relaxation exercises

2-minute relaxation–Concentrate your thoughts on yourself and your breathing. Take a few deep breaths, exhaling slowly. Mentally scan your body. Notice areas that feel tense or cramped.

Quickly loosen up these areas. Let go of as much tension as you can. Rotate your head in a smooth, circular motion once or twice. (Stop any movements that cause pain.) Roll your shoulders forward and backward several times. Let all of your muscles completely relax. Recall a pleasant thought for a few seconds. Take another deep breath and exhale slowly. You should feel more relaxed.

Mind relaxation–Close your eyes. Breathe normally through your nose. As you exhale, silently say to yourself the word “one,” a short word such as “peaceful” or a short phrase such as “I feel quiet” or “I’m safe.” Continue for 10 minutes. If your mind wanders, gently remind yourself to think about your breathing and your chosen word or phrase. Let your breathing become slow and steady.

Deep breathing relaxation–Imagine a spot just below your navel. Breath into that spot and fill your abdomen with air. Let the air fill you from the abdomen up, then let it out, like deflating a balloon. With every long, slow breath out, you should feel more relaxed.

WHAT TO DO NOW? Share your thoughts on this post and how you can apply the idea to your life and career.

…to change.
…to take a risk.
…to tell the truth.
…to get in shape.
…to fall in love.
…to simplify your life.
…to act with integrity.
…to do the right thing.
…to enjoy the journey.
…to expand your mind.
…to dream big dreams.
…to make a comeback.
…to ask for forgiveness.
…to live happily ever after.
…to take full responsibility.
…to create a breakthrough
…to honor your commitments.
…to break out of a comfort zone.
…to expose yourself to greatness.
…to commit your life to excellence.
…to be what you might have been.
…to start heading in the right direction.
…to make a significant contribution to society.
…to make everything you say, think and do count.

It’s never to late to do anything, just a little later than it was!

Dreams deferred are dreams that die — a process that can take the dreamer along with them. The good news is that it’s never too late to revisit, and relive, one’s deepest desires.

WHAT TO DO NOW? Share your thoughts on this post and how you can apply the idea to your life and career.

When you’re late, forgiveness counts.

When you’re mad, self-control counts.

When you’re broke, every penny counts.

When you’re depressed, every hug counts.

When you’re on a diet, self-discipline counts.

When you’re in a hurry, every second counts.

When you’re negotiating, transparency counts.

When making a decision, good judgement counts.

When you run into obstacles, perseverance counts.

When you’re designing a new product, simplicity counts.

Your entire life is an accumulation of tiny details and small decisions .

While we measure our lives in years, we live them in days, hours, minutes, and seconds.

Every action—every detail of our lives has bottom line consequences, everything counts!

WHAT TO DO NOW? Share your two cents worth on what this post means to you.

• Dive for a loose ball. It counts.
• Miss that one field goal. It counts
• Make the tiniest mistake. It counts.
• Take your eye off the ball. It counts.
• Throw a ball instead of a strike. It counts.
• Following through on that swing. It counts.
• Extending your body on that play. It counts.
• Slow to help out on a double team. It counts.
• Your foot position on that pirouette. It counts.
• Finishing strong competing to the end. It counts.
• Leave the field with nothing else to give. It counts.

Every drill, every sprint, every long hour of practice leads to the performance. It counts.

Regardless of the endeavor, every time you enter the practice or playing filed, everything counts.

Your performance is representative of your practice, and your philosophy. It shows and it counts.

There will be drama, heartache, triumph and heroes. The one constant is the champions attitude, and every champion knows that everything counts.

Play like a champion today!

WHAT TO DO NOW? Share your two cents worth on what it means to play like a champion.

In 1982, two social scientists—George L. Kelling and James Q. Wilson—published an article in the Atlantic in which they argued that a city window left broken is an invitation to further disorder.

Why? Because neglect accelerates the rot in society faster than any other factor.

Their message was as simple as it was unconventional. Sweat the small stuff (graffiti, aggressive panhandling, petty crime) and you’ll stop problems before they grow bigger.

In the three decades since, mayors and police chiefs across America have transformed their cities by taking the broken-window message to heart.

Q: How can you use the broken window theory where you work, live or play to enjoy better results and a better quality of life?

To me, expectations are the result of a previous experience.

• I have come to expect certain results when interacting with various organizations:
• I expect a big smile when I visit my neighborhood coffee store.
• I expect to be ignored in most government offices.
• I expect long, slow moving lines when I get to the airport.
• The wait staff at a local Italian bistro acts as if they are doing me a favor by being open, and I’ve come to expect that.
• My expectation is to be scolded when I am pulled over by a traffic cop.
• When flying cross-country in coach I expect to be tired and wrinkled when I arrive.

The problem as I see it is that we often CONFUSE expectations with desires, and as a result, we waste a lot of time and energy trying to understand why our expectations were not met.

Now, I may WANT to be treated differently at the Department of Motor Vehicles, but my expectation is that I won’t.

The result? I get in, get out, and get on with my day without wasting any emotionally energy. That’s the key!

If however my expectations are exceeded, I take it as a bonus and enjoy the experience.

As you plan your day, manage your business, family and daily personal affairs, I want to take you through an exercise that will help you to grasp the subtle differences between Expectations, Wants and Needs.

• How do people EXPECT to be treated?
• How do they WANT to be treated?
• What do they NEED?

Do this exercise with your team or family:

1. Discuss service or product situations where you have had low expectations. Are your desires different than your expectations?

2. Talk about situations where you have had high expectations. What caused you to expect what you did? Previous experience, recommendation, tradition?

3. Turn a critical eye on your own company’s interaction with customers and how you treat one another at home. Based on their experience with you or others in your industry, what do they expect?

What do they want? How far apart are they? How can you give them more than they want? AND need?

The group exercise is important because we often take for granted that everyone is on the same page.

I’ll think you’ll discover that’s not the case and you’ll be glad you took the time to talk it out.

WHAT TO DO NOW? SHARE your two cents worth on your experience with managing expectations.

It determines whether you realize your  dreams, both personal and professional.

It virtually defines you to others. Without it, true success is impossible.

Your ability to demonstrate this quality impacts every relationship, every communication, every work project, every business venture, every effort in which you’re
engaged.

It changes the quality of every present moment and alters the trajectory and outcome of every future moment of your life.

On the other hand, if developed and leveraged, this one thing has the potential to create unparalleled success and prosperity in every dimension of life.

Yet, it is the least understood, most neglected, and most underestimated possibility of our time.

That one thing is TRUST.

Simply put, trust is confidence in an individual or organization. It is other people feeling good about relying on you. And its value can hardly be overstated.

Trustworthiness is the universally accepted test of good character.

When you trust someone, you have confidence in his or her honesty and abilities. You can delegate things easily and effectively.

You can relax. You have peace of mind. But when you doubt someone’s integrity, question his accomplishments, or worry about his agenda, confidence is replaced by suspicion and anxiety.

Take a moment and picture someone you trust implicitly.

It could be a spouse, a parent, a sibling, a friend, or a business associate.

How does this relationship make you feel?

How easily do you communicate?

How quickly do things get done?

Now imagine someone you distrust. How does this relationship feel?

How easily do you communicate?

Do you enjoy this relationship… or is it complicated, high-maintenance and draining?

The difference between a high-trust and low-trust relationship is night and day. In a high-trust relationship, you can say the wrong thing and your listener still understands you.

In a low-trust relationship, you can choose your words carefully, be very precise, and you may still be misunderstood.

Sadly, trust is at an ebb in our society. A Harris poll reveals that only 27% of Americans trust the government, only 22% trust the media, only 12% trust big companies, and only 8% trust political parties.

Personal trust is waning, too. Many people nowadays look back on contracts or commitments as something to negotiate.

Half of all marriages end in divorce. Many (perhaps most) of them founder on a lack of trust.

Each of us naturally gravitates away from individuals we can’t believe or rely on and towards those we can.

Low trust is the very definition of a bad relationship. And once you forfeit someone’s confidence, it’s awfully hard to win it back.

This is particularly true in business. We all survive by selling a product, service or skill. Yet every sale has five basic obstacles: no need, no money, no hurry, no desire, no trust.

If trust is lacking, forget the other four. You’re done!

The moment someone suspects your motives, everything you do becomes tainted.

That’s why successful companies make a priority of building and maintaining confidence.

John Whitney, Professor Emeritus of Management at Columbia Business School, estimates that mistrust doubles the cost of  doing business.

You may have the best product, great service, competitive pricing, mountains of supporting facts and figures, and testimonials galore.

But if you don’t command and deserve trust, you will not enjoy long-term success.

It is never enough to simply invite trust. It must be earned.

In personal relationships, that means handling responsibility, proving your credibility, allowing yourself to be relied upon again and again.

It’s not just about integrity. It’s about looking out for the other person’s interests as well as your own.

Employers build trust with employees by assigning them important responsibilities, giving them the freedom to make mistakes, and setting an example.

Real leadership is about getting results in ways that inspire confidence.

In a world that changes as quickly as ours, trust is a critical factor. It is the vital currency.

Business consultant Tom Peters calls trust “the issue of the decade.”

Trust makes work easier and more productive. It makes relationships stable and predictable. It creates a sense of community.

That’s why it’s crucial that we not violate it. Trust can take years to build but only a moment to destroy. And you may not get an opportunity to even try to restore it.

For each of us – and for every organization – trust is something to be built up, protected, valued, cherished, and carefully preserved.

It is the one thing that changes everything.

I hope by now that I’ve earned your trust when I say that participating in the 100 Day Challenge is the fastest, easiest,  and most effective way for you to rapidly transform your life and business.

I invite you to see for yourself why people from more than 80 countries around the world are using the 100 Day Challenge to turn their dreams into reality,  faster than they ever thought possible.

What to Do Now? Share Your Two Cents worth and let me know how you feel about trust and its impact on your relationships.

To build a solid reputation with yourself and others, to earn more money, to be in great shape, and to ensure success in any area of your life, you must learn the discipline of:


•    Looking for solutions rather than focusing on problems.

•    Going the extra mile and exceeding expectations.

•    Consistently adding value to your customers.

•    Eating healthy foods and proper nutrition.

•    Proper preparation and thorough planning.

•    Saving and investing more than spending.

•    Writing a thank you note to a customer.

•    Managing your time and commitments.

•    Giving more than you receive.

•    Paying your bills on time.

•    Honoring your commitments.

•    Exercising self-control.

•    Keeping your promises.

•    Telling the truth.

In short, you must learn the discipline of self-discipline.

One of the great benefits of self-discipline is that each act you engage in comes with a corresponding reward.

•    For each failure you experience, you find new lessons and wisdom.

•    As you overcome each challenge, you gain new understanding.

•    With each success you achieve, your confidence grows.

•    With each loss, you gain empathy and humility.

•    For each book you read, you gain knowledge.

EVERY act of self-discipline in life bears desirable fruit!

What To Do Now? Click here to learn how to enforce iron self-discipline in every area of your life, and remember to Comment and Share your feedback with friends and colleagues.

In this post, I will present a two-step plan on the importance of reality, of complete transparency, of dealing with the truth as it is, rather than how it was, or how you would like it to be.

You see, death and taxes are not the only guarantees in life: the truth counts as well, yet far too many people spend their lives denying the truth and playing the game of perception management.

However, if you deny the truth for whatever lame reason, you will soon discover that life is indeed a game of undesirable consequences.

Face it….facts are facts…perceptions are perceptions. Each is powerful…each serves a purpose, but you MUST know the difference.

True honesty, self-respect, trust, and character are built on reality…not on the illusion of perceptions.

The acceptance of reality, the truth in every situation is a moral obligation, not an option.

Why?

The reason why is quite simple…because lies destroy progress, compromise character, and ruin relationships with others and ourselves.

Reality is what it is – the truth!

Your health, wealth, relationships, and peace of mind are what they are. Stick with the facts…the truth as EVERY decision about your life must be based on truth.

Let’s get started on your two-step plan.

Step One: Answer these questions…

• What are you pretending not to know?
• What truth are you hiding from?
• What part of your reality do you find undesirable?
• Why are you playing this charade?
• When are you going to start accepting reality and deal with the truth?

Unfortunately the truth often becomes a piñata for those unwilling to accept reality.

This is true for someone unwilling to admit to an addiction, a bad marriage, a competitive liability, a criminal act, or an ethical injustice.

I promise you that if you resist the truth long enough, the backlash will be inevitable. Remember that which you resist WILL persist!

Step Two: Take action.

If this message spoke to you, if it made you uncomfortable, if it made you want to shoot the messenger (Me), than quit playing games, stop wasting your life, accept the truth of a difficult situation and deal with it.

The best strategy right now is to face reality, take action, and mobilize the appropriate responses. And do it right now!

WHAT TO DO NOW? Click here to learn how to turn your life around, and remember to Comment and Share your feedback with friends and colleagues.